Random Thoughts of a Scatterbrain.
 Thursday, September 29, 2005

I'm Not Alone!

9/29/2005 11:19:35 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)

This pretty much sums up how I've been feeling every-freaking-day for the last few weeks/months:

I've never been more unsure about everything in the entire universe. I no longer comprehend what is important in the essence of everything. All knowledge and understanding I have aquired now all just seems meaningless and empty. I feel I am completely hopeless. My mind revolves so much around school and stale concrete fact. I don't really have a life. Right now I am just existing, going day to day with what seems like essentially no purpose or direction. I can't find my foundation for thought or reason or action. This is the worst feeling I have ever had in my entire life. Nothing is important, which in itself is sigificant for some reason. I think. I don't know. I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I'm trying to wrap my head around life. Do you know what all is in life? A whole fucking lot. And my mind feels obligated to figure out every fucking bit of it at the same time. I feel like I'm trying to wrap a rubber band around a dumptruck. I'll either stay frustrated like this, or I'll somehow keep trying to stretch until it snaps.

In my case, I don't think I can even recall a particular point in time when this happened. It feels like I've been in this kind of funk forever.  I envy people, like my wife, who (at least on the surface) seem to have figured out exactly what life is about, what is important to them, what their goals are, and what they have to do to get there.  I think it's healthy to have goals; it gives you purpose and meaning in every action that you do.  Problem is, I just can't seem to solidify mine.

:Sigh: :-S

10/19/2005 9:46:13 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)
That makes two of us... sigh: To me, Utopia is the answer.. I can't speak for others...
Hoon
10/20/2005 8:24:12 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)
Dude, I don't think that's the case with you at all man. I think it takes a lot of vision and purpose to switch professions (more so considering you moved *up*), especially after almost a decade in one profession. That's badass man.

Glad you figured out the comments :)
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